A letter to those who have lost

“Shh, let it out,” I’d say to you as you lay on your side crying without control, bundled in blankets, sad and lonely, missing someone you once loved.

And I’d stroke your hair and pull your curls out of your tear soaked eyes, gently and tenderly.  I’d listen to your sobs and not try to make you feel better with clichés.  Because you’ll get over it, isn’t helpful at times like these…

Because you won’t; I know.  There is no getting over this.  There is only getting by.  Living your life as best you can, accepting the hole deep inside you, and knowing that he’s looking over you with constant love.


“Shh, let it out,” I’d say as your sobs get louder and your tears get wetter and your eyes get puffy.  Mourning knows no beauty.

And there is no pressure to be beautiful right now.  You just need to be.  Be present and let yourself hurt. Let yourself cry and be sad and miss him with every ounce of your being…

Because you cared for him more than there are stars in the sky.  And friendship like that cannot be erased or forgotten.  So miss him, and love him, and think of him every chance that you have.


“Shh, let it out,” I’d say as you reach for tissue after tissue, and your nose turns red, and your eyes continue to pour out tears as if they were pitchers of water.

And I can hear your heart breaking all over again, but I don’t try to console you with words.  Instead I reach down and I squeeze your hand so you know that you are loved in this world.  I feel you squeeze back because all you needed was a loving, sincere touch…

Because you feel alone right now, but you aren’t and that’s why I’m here:  To hold you and tell you that I’m here for you.  No matter how alone you feel, I’m here and I’ll hold you and stroke your hair and squeeze your hand as much as needed.


“Shh, let it out,” I’d say to you as your whimpers fade and your eyes close and you sniffle in between breaths.

And when your breathing calms and you lay placid and still, I’ll push your curls out of your face once more and I’ll sit back and watch you sleep, until I’m sure you’ve entered a dreamland where we can still visit and speak to the ones we’ve lost, where unbroken hearts exist…

Because you’re missing someone right now.  And that doesn’t just go away.  It breathes when you breathe; it grows as time grows.  We carry it with us whether the ones we care for walk beside us, or not.  Because Love is not something we lose.


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