This is shaping up to be one of my favorite scenes in my new book between Jamie and Wes, my two main characters.  Hope you enjoy this little in-the-works snip it!

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Jamie had walked briskly from Wes’s front door to her car.  She didn’t dare turn back to look at Wes’s silhouette in the dim porch light.  In fact, she hadn’t even noticed him follow her outside at all.  He was silent as he watched her walk away from him, her arms rigid and swinging with a befuddled frustration.

Wes remained silent, letting her go.  Maybe he could have said something to stop her, but he didn’t.  He let her leave, watching her tears swell.  She didn’t want to show him, but he had seen the devastating pain in her deep blue eyes.  It reminded him of a tumultuous tempest, and yet she remained poised and placid.  Jamie’s eyes always gave her away.  He remembered the first time his eyes had ever met hers.  She had sparkled, and he couldn’t look away.  He had wanted to know the story behind them and had caught her stare a few more times that evening just to read her.  She was attracted to him, he knew that, and as they sat together this evening, he knew even more.  But she was leaving and he wasn’t stopping her.

As Jamie reached the car, she paused for a moment, her back still to Wes, thinking she was completely alone. Her face scrunched and she let her guard melt away.  Instinctively she placed her hands over her face and her back hunched forward as she completely let go of all emotion.  She sobbed sincerely with a loud softness, gasping for breath and sinking slowly, until she was crouched on the ground, forehead against the passenger side door.  She continued to cry attempting to comfort herself by removing one hand from her face and gently rubbing the opposite shoulder, but it didn’t help.  She wanted to be in someone else’s arms; not her own.  This thought upset her more and she hit the car door out of frustration, but her hand trailed as if apologizing to the inanimate object.  She wanted to be consoled, but there was no one to console her.  She sank further until she was sitting on the ground, her head still leaning against the passenger door, shaking it back and forth.  Her sobbing continued, face contorting, red, and completely unhinged.

Wes took a silent step backwards into the shadows.  He knew Jamie thought she was completely alone, and he didn’t want her to know he had seen her break down.  He stared at her gently, wanting to say something to her, to go to her and put his arm around her, but he couldn’t.  He shouldn’t console her.  It would only make things more difficult.  Tears began to trickle down his cheeks watching her give in to her emotions.  He wanted her to know how much he appreciated her and that he did care, but she deserved so much more, more than he could give.  There was so much she didn’t know, so much she couldn’t know.  But as he watched her completely let go, it hit him.  Jamie loved him.  Jamie loved him in that unconditional, selfless way, the way he had always hoped someone would love him.  His eyes were wide and he took a small step toward her but retreated, and let her continue to cry.  He hated hurting her and he hated watching her hurt, but they couldn’t be together.  He couldn’t let her in.

Jamie slowly began to compose herself and reached up to the door handle to help her off the ground.  As she steadied herself standing, she smoothed out her jeans and top and tucked her stray hair behind her ear.  She reached into her pocket to retrieve her keys and went to the driver’s side door, sniveling, her face soaked with tears and pain.  She kept her eyes down, embarrassed by the way she carried on, afraid that the house would somehow tell Wes her secret.

From the porch Wes saw her turn towards the house and he instinctively crouched down behind the railing so Jamie wouldn’t notice his presence.  He watched her drive away and walked back into the dim porch light.  He wanted it to be the first night he had seen her again; he wanted things to be different, but they weren’t.  He wiped the tears from his eyes as he stood tall.  He tried to convince himself that it was for the best.